Dealing with Angry People

There it was again, extreme anger over nothing. What does he/she think they are going to gain by yelling at me, again and again . . . I am not hearing impaired and I hear you even better when you express yourself in a normal voice . . .

I am always becoming triggered by the little things . . . I want to overcome this problem and speak to my partner calmly. I want to work things out, I just cannot seem to get past a certain point before I blow up, and start the cycle all over again . . . I am so tired of fighting with the one that I love.

How is Anger Expressed

Cultural standards and gender roles play a part in how we do, or do not, express anger. Some people keep it inside, waiting for it to boil over. Others blow up quickly and it passes really quickly as well. Regardless of how or why excessive anger is expressed, it is always leaving behind a trail of bruised, hurt and damaged lives.

In North America, it is common for men to act angry when they are feeling hurt, afraid, overwhelmed, or confused.

Anger in women, has traditionally been considered to be an "unfeminine" emotion, and some women find it difficult to express their anger.

Some men find anger in women to be threatening. As a result, women may be more likely to express feeling hurt than angry, or turn their anger into self-criticism.

In families where anger was dealt with in an unhealthy manner, or where it was prohibited entirely, children may learn to express anger through whining, pouting, being clingy, or developing self-destructive behaviours.

When coping mechanisms are unsuccessful, children and adults, may try to hurt the target of their anger "accidentally" or through promising compliance but doing the opposite of what was promised. If these styles of coping are not resolved, the patterns that are developed will create attitudes and ways of handling anger right through adult life, replaying themselves over and over again, with increasing intensity in important relationships.

Breaking the Anger Cycle

Professionally trained counsellors can help break the anger cycle by:

  • Providing opportunities to safely discuss angry feelings in a safe and confidential environment.
  • Identifying the true sources of anger and resolving them.
  • Bringing resolution to old anger patterns.
  • Providing effective tools for resolving past and present anger patterns.
  • Replacing distorted thinking and irrational beliefs with new ways of thinking that are constructive and build better relationships.
  • Building a higher level of self-esteem and self-acceptance.​
  • Using innovative and leading edge technology to reprogram anger patterns from brain injuries, and traumatic abuse.  

Let us help you and the ones that you love, gain control over anger – call today 604-574-6555