Myths About Love

Myth: Intense jealousy is a sign of strong love.

Fact: Jealousy typically comes from low self-confidence, which creates unreasonable fears of losing your mate. Irrational jealousy causes tension and usually damages love in the long term.

Myth: You cannot control your feelings for someone.

Fact: Love is a decision. Falling in or out of love means changing your feelings and behaviour toward the other person. This requires conscious effort.

Myth: If you really love someone, your feelings will always be the same.

Fact: Even when love is genuine and committed, the depth of feeling can and does fluctuate with life changes and external events. It is hard to feel loving when you are ill, frustrated or anxious, but that does not mean you will not feel loving again when external pressures are relieved.

Myth: Love is over when the "fireworks" stop.

Fact: The magnetism of sudden intimacy that we experience when we "fall in love" is more a sign of the degree of the preceding loneliness than proof of the intensity of genuine love.

As two people get to know one another and go through the cycle of “peaks and valleys,” their initial feelings of intimate infatuation will naturally lose some of the honeymoon qualities. Over time, as issues and concerns are resolved together, true bonding and genuine, strong, long lasting love will be able to grow.

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