Promotions – One should not assume that the boss knows how well you do your job and will reward your performance. Requesting a review from your boss may be difficult, but often a promotion may come when you show interest in the needs of the company. Asking for an opportunity to discuss your performance is a way of letting your boss know that you are interested in increasing your performance and advancing your career.

Changing companies – The days of one company and one career per lifetime, seem to be gone. In order to advance, you will likely have to risk the safety of staying in the same place to move up the career ladder.

Changing careers – Changing fields is very risky, but it can be very rewarding. Those who explore both aptitudes and interests tend to be most successful—both personally and financially—when doing something they really enjoy. The same principles apply when starting your own business.

What if you fail? – The most successful people do not look at mistakes as failed risks, but as setbacks that have become learning opportunities. Because even the most well laid plans don't always succeed, adaptability and optimism are important tools in career development and risk taking.

If you have trouble viewing failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, you might try monitoring your thoughts for a time and replacing negative messages with positive ones. Changing "I really screwed up, I hope I don't get fired" to "It was a good first effort" will improve your attitude, and most importantly, leave you open to making more successful risks in the future.

• Know the purpose of the risk. The amount of potential benefit should be considered in determining whether a risk is worth taking or not. You might be willing to take certain risks for a larger potential reward than you would for a smaller potential payoff.
• Consider your options. Study all of the choices available to you so that you can choose the most workable plan of action.
• Seek advice. Especially when it comes to career risks you may wish to consult a mentor or trusted superior. In other situations try to find someone who has taken a similar risk that has worked out well and ask them how they managed to overcome the obstacles.
• Make a timetable. Risks usually require the successful completion of specific key tasks. Deciding on a timetable for each successive task will typically reduce the unpredictability and thus the stress of risk taking.
• Assess the potential loss. Acknowledging the consequences of the worst that can happen is part of successful risk taking. By facing the possibility of losses, you will be better prepared to prevent them.
• Know yourself. Being realistic about your ability to tolerate the uncertainty of risk taking and dealing with possible failure will help you choose manageable risks and avoid traumatic risks. Common Pitfalls to Avoid in Risk Taking.
• Being unrealistic. Goals are rarely achieved by taking one risk that is successful 100% of the time. It is far more likely that you will need to take several risks with varying degrees of success to reach your goal.
• Rushing. Careful planning is one of the secrets of successful risking. Take time to think things through, anticipate setbacks and execute your plans well.
• Risking a lot for little gain. Only you can define what a "lot" and what a "little" mean to you. Don't sacrifice something important for a possible payoff that is less than what you are giving up.
• Taking risks out of foolish pride. Taking risks just for the sake of maintaining others' approval is almost always a hazardous and foolish experience that can have dramatic consequences. A little embarrassment (real or imagined) is far less devastating than the long reaching consequences of an ill-conceived risk.
• Risking more than you have to lose. Never "bet the ranch" financially or emotionally. Know your resources and take your risks within your limitations.

Without risk, life would be too predictable, mundane, and boring. Some risks are dangerous, others are necessary.

To be successful at risk taking we need to take control of our risk behaviour. Risking means taking a course of action with an unpredictable outcome. Fear of the unknown sometimes holds us back from risking what we should consider. Risk carries a chance of failure; and also the possibility of great success. We risk because we hope to gain something, whether love, excitement or financial reward.

To understand why risk is necessary, pause for a moment and ask yourself: “What risks do I regret not having taken?”

Steps to Successful Risk Management

Recognizing the desire to make a change and the goals for the change. You may have become so bored and frustrated with your job or your life that you have become passive and careless. You might also be so tired of being in “unequal” or abusive relationship that you just cannot tolerate it any longer.

Making the decision to move forward. Even when very unhappy, people may feel paralyzed by fear. Typically, fear will prevent forward momentum until the discomfort of not moving forward becomes greater than the fear. At this point, the fear will seem less threatening and a decision to make a change occurs.

Planning the change. Planning is the key to successful risk taking management. Identifying alternatives and considering likely consequences will boost creativity and assist in confidently deciding on a course of action.

Following through on the decision. Once you have carefully planned and decided, you need to follow through with the planned change(s) and persevere even when you encounter obstacles and challenges.

The Fear Factor

Fear is one of the biggest stumbling blocks to success. Since risking requires facing potential failure, people whose self-esteem is high generally have less fear and handle setbacks, or the thought of them, better than those who dislike themselves. Building strong self-esteem is a first step to being able to make risking behaviour more successful.

Healthy vs. Dangerous Risks

Most of the risks we take in life are positive, ultimately producing growth and learning. Some examples of healthy risks are reaching out for love, self-improvement risks such as returning to school, or stretching ourselves to meet a challenge. Some risks are unhealthy or unsafe. Empty risks are ones that endanger you or others, without much chance of a useful payoff.

Improving Risking Skills

Counselling is a good setting to conquer fears and practice taking manageable risks. For some people, entering therapy seems like a big risk. Counselling is the beginning of becoming more confident, with healthy and self-improvement risks.

Some people are risk aversive, seeming to be unable to take any chances at all. The idea of risking paralyzes them with fear. Because they find risk difficult, they are often unable to grow, and may become psychologically rigid and unbalanced.

In counselling sessions, people can come to understand how pessimistic perceptions have been holding them back, and learn strategies for overcoming fears. A counsellor will be able to help focus on gains, rather than the potential for loss, and provide a place to discuss and practice learned risk taking skills.

At the extreme of risk taking are daredevils. These are people who seek taking unsafe risks that put themselves and others in dangerous situations for the sake of adventure. Reckless risk taking is often seen as a normal part of adolescent development, though it does not have to be. In adults, dangerous risk taking usually suggests difficulties such as low self-esteem, high need for attention, or subconscious self-destructive thought patterns.

Counselling helps daredevils and adventure seekers to gain a realistic perspective and focus on both the causes and the consequences of their behaviour so that they can resolve underlying fears and self-image obstacles. It may often save lives.

• Consult with your physician regularly.
• Improve your emotional and social support system. A network of supportive friends and family can act as a buffer and prevent the burnout cycle from occurring. Develop new friendships based on mutual giving and receiving.
• Take the initiative at work to start new projects that have personal meaning. Look for creative ways to bring variety to otherwise boring or routine tasks.
• Develop sources of enjoyment and reward other than your career or occupation. Hobbies, sports activities, recreation, and community events can all be a tremendous source of variety, and stimulation.
• Be good to your body. Exercising regularly, eating a proper diet, and getting adequate sleep can all help manage physical symptoms of burnout.
• Pay attention to early warning signs that may signal difficulties and early symptoms of burnout. Don't attribute fatigue, irritability, and signs of depression as being just tired or moody, and dismiss these warning indicators.
• Be realistic about goals and expectations of yourself and others. You may need to re-evaluate your priorities, set more manageable goals, or take a break and come back with a fresh perspective.
• Learn how to ask for the things you need, and how to respond to others when your needs are not being met.
• Look for internal rewards and gratification, rather than looking to others for personal validation.
• Examine personal projects and decide where your time and energy is going to be best used, or bring you the greatest return on investment.
• Avoid taking on responsibility for others. Set up strong boundaries and allow others to do things they can do for themselves.

Recovering from Burnout – If you are already into the burnout cycle, there are some ways you can improve your situation:

• Accept negative feelings of anger, confusion, depression, anxiety, and failure as reality. Acceptance of the situation is the first step towards taking corrective action.
• Take Your Time. There is usually a powerful sense of loss present during the burnout cycle. Whether identity, idealism, moral values, or a lost dream, something has gone. Allow yourself time to recover.
• Get Support. Acknowledging the pain and difficulty is not a sign of weakness, but a step of growth. Talking with a therapist, friends, or family about your concerns and frustrations generally relieves emotional pain and brings a sense of relief.
• Adjust Expectations. When recovering from burnout it is reasonable to expect that you will not be able to perform at the same energy level until you are fully recovered. Adjust your expectations so that you will not repeat the burnout cycle again by rushing to make changes that are not well thought out or appropriately planned.
• Learn to Relax. After burnout has already occurred, you will likely have to work harder at relaxing. Relaxation, visualization, and imagery techniques, along with physical exercise, will help relax your mind and body.
• Balance your Life. If you are burning out in your career, focus more time and energy on personal and social relationships.
• Review Your Goals. If you feel like you are lost in the "forest" of crises, unfinished projects, and emotional exhaustion, "step back" periodically from your situation. Review where you have been, and decide where you really want to go. Set realistic goals that will help you realize your true dreams and desires.
• Get Help. Recovery from burnout is accomplished much more quickly with the help of a well-trained and experienced counsellor. Therapy will assist you in regaining an objective perspective, and will put you in a position of strength where the burnout cycle can be broken.
• When people become stressed, anxious and burnt out, patterns of self-destructive behaviour often become major challenges. These patterns are sometimes difficult to understand. In the face of too much well-meaning advice and self-help, programs a counsellor can often sort contradictory thoughts and feelings.
• Clinical Counselling involves using a human partnership approach to improving your important relationships. Building a trusting and comfortable relationship between client(s) and counsellor is a primary part of the counselling program. We welcome your questions and comments at any time.
• Specialized Therapeutic Solutions operates our counselling practice upholding the standards and ethics of Registered Clinical Counsellors (BC Association of Clinical Counsellors).
• The decision to attend a counselling session may be based on a wide range of considerations and dissatisfactions. Whatever the reasons for your decisions, we are listening and ready to assist.

Striving for goals that are not yours is a quick route to stress, anxiety and burnout. Many children grow up trying to be "good enough" for their parents and/or other important relationships.

Many individuals find themselves still trying to meet their parents expectations even after their parents are deceased, or living a great distance away from them.Trying to live up to the expectations of others will drain energy and make life difficult and challenging.

The fear of success leads to self-sabotage and repeated failures. The fear of failure causes success to become a precarious perch, making it exceptionally difficult to make progress or move forward.

Relationship Burnout

Relationship burnout occurs when:
The relationship is too intense. During the initial infatuation or "honeymoon" stage, the relationship can be very intense and energetic. This energy level cannot be sustained indefinitely, but we may find that we spend a lot of time and energy to keep up this unrealistic image.

When you live with a person who is burnt-out you also may become affected when the burnout characteristics and responsibilities are passed on. Responsibility is frequently passed on from the burnt-out person to their close friends and partners as burnout decreases a person's ability to carry their share of the load. Sometimes these relationships can become a significant drain on already stretched resources and energy.

Do you ever wonder how your life might have been different if you had married someone else, or fulfilled your childhood dreams? These are all thoughts and feelings coming from people who are burning out.

No one is immune to burnout, and as you get older your chances of experiencing burnout increase. While most burnout is job related, relationship or family burnout is also common. Burnout occurs when a great deal of energy is invested and there is little or no return in the form of desirable and positive rewards.

Symptoms of Burnout

Psychological symptoms of burnout are reactions to stress and pressure that linger after the immediate situation that created the stressor have passed, and you are still left with a diminishing your ability to function effectively. They include…

• Nervousness Depression or anxiety
• Fatigue, low energy, or apathy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Low tolerance for frustration
• Feeling pressured, trapped, or tense
• Loss of interests in social activities
• Nagging self-doubt
• Irritability or outbursts of emotion
• Sleep disturbances
• Feeling emotionally drained
• Difficulty turning thoughts off

Behavioural symptoms of burnout are self-defeating actions to cope with tension and anxiety in an attempt to relieve, forget, or escape the pressure…

• Withdrawing from close/intimate relationships
• Increased smoking or drinking
• Loss of appetite or overeating
• Criticizing, or blaming others
• Watching TV more than two hours per day
• Taking tranquillizers or other drugs
• Feeling overwhelmed by relationships or work, yet feeling that you are indispensable
• Cynicism or sarcasm about work/career
• Difficulty meeting commitments or completing tasks

Physical symptoms of burnout involve body responses to excessive, chronic stress in the form of pain and physical disorders, such as…

• Headaches
• Back pain
• Muscle tension
• Gastrointestinal and stomach complaints
• Lingering colds
• Irregular heartbeat
• Grinding or clenching teeth