In August 1992, Hurricane Andrew went bananas. Like a drunk on too many Tequilas, he tore into South Florida with wind gusts of 175mph, redrawing the landscape. Approximately 600,000 homes and businesses bore the brunt of his menacing and destructive actions.

By the time Andrew left, he had run up a tab of $26 billion dollars and left behind some very angry insurance companies. Andrew was responsible for the second highest insurance payout in history, surpassed only by that associated with September 11.

Many insurance company consulted their crystal balls and decided the future in Florida was too unpredictable. So, while they covered the claims, they refused to renew policies.

State Farm Had a Different Opinion

State Farm looked further and assessed the reasons why these homes had been so vulnerable. Hurricane Andrew had blown roofs off because contractors had not anchored them to the frames of the homes. Then, having taken action to understand the situation, State Farm paid out the policy claims and also paid for its customers to bring their buildings up to code.

This insurance company was willing to make sure their customers had peace of mind should Andrew or one of his family come visiting once again.

Families can be Like Hurricanes

When crisis strikes a family unexpectedly, it can blow the roof off, leaving family members exposed and vulnerable. When a family has a good internal structure, the roof stays anchored and in place, regardless of the turmoil going on outside the family home.

Which Brings Us to the Three Most Important Words

Webster's Dictionary defines the word "Client" in the following way: “A client is one who comes under your care, guidance and protection.”

This definition places the emphasis on us, as professionals, in our relationship with you, to care, protect and guide, as you recover from unexpected events, assisting you in rebuilding your family to achieve a new and more enjoyable standard of living. 

When the unexpected blows the roof off, leaving you needing care, guidance and protection, please allow us to bring you and your family to a new, and improved standard of living.

Following are some guidelines for improving your communication:

Timing

If the person you are trying to talk with is busy, distracted, or preoccupied, much of the intended message will fall on deaf ears. Be certain that you have the attention of the person you are communicating with and that they are willing and able to communicate in return.

Aim Your Conversation Towards a Goal – "When you aim at nothing you will hit it every time!" If you know ahead of time what you want to discuss, or you have a general agenda you won't come across as rambling. Stick to the question or topic at hand and resist straying into related subjects without completing the topic at hand.

Say What You Really Want – Try not to make your partner guess at what your motivations and intentions are. Express how you feel, what you want, and what you need as clearly as possible and provide opportunity for the other person to ask questions for clarification. Practice

Active Listening – Active listening involves maintaining eye contact, positive and open posture, and being relaxed while you are communicating.

Clarify

Clarifying by asking questions shows that you have been listening. It is wise to never trust your assumptions about what you think you heard.

Express Areas That You Are Willing To Negotiate – Negotiation does not have to mean that you’re giving in but that you are willing to trade off or compromise. Bargaining or negotiating in this way can be enjoyable. Try not to agree to something that will cause later resentment.

Talk With People, Not At Them – Having an attitude of equality will help you to share the responsibility for what is being discussed while also maintaining a positive flow of conversation.

Be Sincere and Caring – Being sincere in giving praise will win respect. Try to remember that, "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Criticize Constructively – Using "I" statements will help to separate the behaviour in question from the person and focuses on your feelings about the situation.

The foundation for healthy relationships is the ability to communicate and inter-relate. We can have better relationships and more fulfilled lives when we understand the meanings behind conversations. These meanings are not always obvious. Sometimes, it is useful to have a counsellor to improve communications. A professional counsellor can help to fine-tune your communication and open doors to happier, more fulfilled and intimate relationships.

Effective Communication

• Use "I" Statements
• No “Zapping”
• Stay in the Present and the Future
• Stick to the Topic at Hand
• Never Assume
• Do Not Interrupt
• Acknowledge Other's Point of View
• Offer an Apology if Appropriate
• Ask Clarifying Questions

A very small percentage of communication in relationships is verbal. The words we choose are not as significant as how the words are said. We convey over 80% of our messages through gestures, body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. The timing of what we say…and our use of silence has a significant impact on the total message.

The five skill levels of conversation in intimate communication is the foundation for all relationships. It’s the glue that holds relationships together or dramatically pushes them apart. We communicate internally and externally with others all of our waking hours.

The five skill levels of communication reflect the status of emotional intimacy in one's relationship, the first being the least intimate form of communication, and the last, most. They are:

1. Superficial Contact and Interaction
2. Small Talk
3. Honest expression of Ideas, Values, and Opinions
4. Open and Sincere expression of Feelings
5. Full and Intimate disclosure of Ideas, Values, Opinions and Feelings

How would you rate the communication skills of yourself and of those in your relationships?

If you would like a no obligation initial assessment on how you could improve intimate communication  in your relationships, call us today we'd like to help.